FMA Poem Cafe
by Crazy-Alchemist
Summary: A cafe where military officals go to say poems...and go a little crazy with coffee
1. Al's Poem

FMA…Poem Café

I don't own FMA...DUH!

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"Poem café?" Ed asked, looking at the orange flyer in his hands. "For military personnel only? What?"

"Well brother…a personnel is-"

"I KNOW THAT!"

"Wanna head over?"

"Sure. Why not?" asked Ed.

They headed over and saw…well…everyone.

"Fullmetal! Over here!" yelled Roy.

They all sat down and waited for the show to start. After about 10 minutes, Fuhrer President King Bradley came out onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.

"Hello all military officials and welcome to the Poem Café! We will now have people come up and tell poems. First up is…Alphonse Elric."

Al walked up to the stage, grabbed the mic, and here was his poem:

Kitten hiding in the rain,

You should not be in this pain,

Go inside my steel armor,

Sit inside and dry your fur,

Look up now, the sun is out,

You may go, no need to pout,

Walk along the Central Streets,

With your little padded feet,

Find yourself a perfect owner,

Or you may prefer to be a loner,

I sit along and watch you go,

I wish I had a cat you know.

Everyone stared up at Al, quietly, and the room erupted into snaps, except for Ed, who was clapping.

"Fullmetal. You are supposed to snap, not clap," said Roy, taking off his gloves to snap, as to not set the place ablaze.

Crazy: How was that?


	2. Ed's poem

Ed's Poem

Chapter 2

Me: Ed is my new disclaimer 

Ed: Why?

Me: whispers secret

Ed: Damn…Crazy doesn't own us or FMA

Me: Good. Here's a dog treat!

Chapter 2

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"You were great Al," said Ed, as Al returned to his seat next to his brother.

"Well…I dunno Brother," said Al.

"Nonsense! It was great," said Hawkeye.

"Yeah," said Roy.

"Our next poet is…the Fullmetal Alchemist and living legend of the people…EDWARD ELRIC!"

"WHAT!" yelled Ed.

"Go up there Fullmetal," said Roy, smirking.

Edward went to the stage, cleared his throat, and recited this poem:

I'm so very sorry,

On that fateful day,

I made you do something,

Now your bodies gone away,

I have two fake limbs,

And you can't dine,

The price you paid,

Was bigger than mine,

I saw the truth,

You did not,

You lost it all,

And repayment you had not sought

The crowd stared for a moment. Some folks started to sob quietly. They snapped and Ed returned to his seat…and found Roy Mustang, could not stop twitching.

"You let him have coffee?" he asked Hawkeye.

"I go to the bathroom one minute and he gets coffee…I left Al in charge while I was gone," she replied.

"CAPPUCHINO MACHINE!" yelled Roy.

"No…I'm not a cappuccino machine Colonel," whispered Al.

"Oh great…now we have this to put up with," said Ed, burying his face in his hands, sighing.

Roy: COFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEE!

Me: Great….a repeat of the other story. Damn. Every time you don't review, Roy has coffee. Save their sanity. Review.


	3. Roy's poem and coffee

Roy's Poem…and Coffee

I thought this would be a fun idea and people wanted it…so here it is.

Ed: -runs by- CRAZY DOESN'T OWN US!

Me: -chases him- GIVE ME BACK MY POCKET WATCH YOU SHRIMP!

Ed: Heh. You're only an inch taller than me…shorty

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"Now remember. You higher ups get to do two poems," said King Bradley, wiping his eye after Ed's poem.

"I wonder who's next brother," said Al.

"It'd better not be him," Ed mumbled, pointing to an over caffinated Roy.

"Our next poet is…Colonel ROY MUSTANG!" said the Fuhrer.

"Oh Lord no…" said Ed.

Mustang walked up to the stage, and here's his first poem:

I took a sip of coffee,

It tasted really good,

This coffee tasted better,

Than any coffee should,

It had some milk and cream,

It was brown and light,

If I have anymore coffee,

I'll be up all night!

The room busts out in laughs and snaps, and even the Fuhrer joined in. We even got a chuckle out of the Brigadier General Basque Grand. Mustang joined in the laughter, which lasted about ten minutes. When the room finally quieted down, Roy started his second poem, which went like this:

I'm a Colonel in the military,

Some call me a pervert,

But all I really want to see,

Are women in tiny miniskirts,

They could match the uniforms,

And they may turn me on,

But when I'm Fuhrer,

Things will change,

No woman will be without one donned,

I know you wonder,

What's with him?

He sure is a perv,

But on that day,

You will all say,

We love Fuhrer Roy Mustang!

Everyone laughed till they were blue, again, and snapped.

"WHAT WAS THAT COLONEL?" hissed Hawkeye as he got back to the table.

"What? It was a simple display of my interests! Miniskirts, women, and coffee," replied the Colonel.

"Okay then," said Ed.

"By the way Colonel, I'M NOT A CAPPICHINO MACHINE!" hissed Al.

"…Who said you were a cappuccino machine?" asked Roy, confused.

"Oi…" said Al, as he waited for the next person.

Roy just sat there, confused.

Roy: Oo What the… You make me sound like a coffee obsessed pervert…

Me: But you are a coffee obsessed pervert Colonel…

Roy: Oh…right


	4. Hughes Poem and Cliffhangers

Hughes' Poem

It's Hughes' turn

Ed: She doesn't own us. Word.

Me: What word?

Ed: Oo

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"Next is Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes," said the Fuhrer.

"Uh oh," chorused Ed, Al, Roy, and Riza.

Hughes went up to the mic and this is his first poem:

Little baby girl,

Elysia's her name,

If anything happened to her,

I'd have myself to blame,

She's so cute and precious,

She has a small red trike,

She follows me around,

In all ways I like,

I want to pick her up,

And hold her in my arms,

And to teach her that,

There's no cause for alarm

The room snapped and there were these reactions from our table of heroes,

From Ed: "I knew it."

From Al: "Oh no…"

From Roy: "Heh."

From Riza: "sigh"

Hughes took a deep breath and rectied his next poem:

I have a best friend,

His name is Colonel Roy,

He is always somebody,

That I can count on to annoy,

We have been to Hell and back,

And you stood by my side,

During the war in Ishbal,

When everyone was getting fried,

And now I say to you,

My best buddy, pal, and friend,

Know that I will be by your side,

Till the very very end

Everyone sat there, amazed that he didn't tell another poem about his daughter, and started to snap. Roy, however, excuse himself to the bathroom, muttering something about Hughes. He came back a few minutes later, just in time to hear King Bradley speak again.

"Well. That was quite nice," said the Fuher. "Our next poet will be…"

Me: CLIFFHANGER!

Roy: No it's not. You just don't know who to write about.

Me: Yes I do…but some ideas might help.

Roy: Yeah…sure.

Everytime you don't review, I punch Roy in the face. Save Roy's face. Review.

Roy: Hey!


	5. Havoc's Poem and Flammable Things

Havoc's Poem and Flammable Things

DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T OWN THIS ANIME!

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"Our next poet is Jean Havoc," the Fuhrer continued.

Havoc went up to the stage and this was his poem:

I sat by the windowsill,

Waiting for her to come,

And I was smoking,

She came up the steps,

In a pure blue dress,

And I stopped smoking,

We left the house,

I drove the car,

The exhaust was smoking,

We had dinner,

I poured the wine,

The food was smoking,

We went for a walk,

We were in the park,

We saw others smoking,

I drove her home,

She gave me a kiss,

I went out smoking

Havoc lit up a cigarette while the others snapped. Here was his second poem:

Once on a cold winter day,

I lost a woman to my dismay,

She loved me so much,

We were to wed,

But I sat by her hospital bed,

Holding her cold limp hand in mine,

And holding it long,

I wondered where I ever went wrong,

And now once a year,

I visit her grave,

To apologize for the car accident,

For her, I could not save

Some people started to sob like in Ed's poem. Nobody knew this side of Havoc. He was the kind of guy who just moves on. They snapped as Havoc attempted to get off the stage. He tripped and the cigarette flew from his mouth, landing on Ed's automail arm, staring as it melted.

"Well would ya look at that!" exclaimed Havoc. "I didn't know Edward was flammable!"

Me: Poor poor Havoc. And poor Edo. Another wrench mark soon. Ouch.

Ed: You are so cruel to me!

Me: Every time you don't review, Ed catches on fire. Save Ed, review.

Roy: I'LL HELP!

Me: No


End file.
